It is so easy to fall back into bad habits. Isnt It? One thing I have struggled with for the most part of my life is feeling guilty about being who I am. Or doing what I want. I also know that I am not by any means the only woman out there with this issue. It's always more acceptable to put children, spouses,parents and jobs first. Sometimes you really have to. But not all of the time. This is one of the great advantages of growing older. Things change and you appear to become wiser. ( It appears to myself I am anyway. lol) At the very least you can prioritize better and it least recognize when you are not being true to yourself. But I sure can fall back into old beliefs and habits very quickly. I am speaking for myself here, I am single, both of my daughters have families of their own now and sadly my parents have passed on. So the way I see it, now is my time. I have worked very hard my whole life, raised kids, took care of ailing parents, been divorced, health issues, job lay offs etc. This list is alot longer, but I dont have to tell you how it is. You also know how it is. But the ironic thing here is the tables have turned. Other well meaning people now think they know whats best for me and I find myself feeling very guilty and doing things I dont want to do, all because someone else thinks its for the best. Somehow they all know whats better for me and my current circumstances. They appear to think I dont have a thread of common sense or the fact that I handled all of the above mentioned circumstances in my life without any help from them. OK, I am beginning to rant here. lol Thats not the purpose of this post. I am thinking outloud and I am making a declaration, here in writing to be OK with my descisions. I am smart and intelligent and want to make the most of my life experiences. I hope that you are too. Its a cliche, but so true, this is not a dress rehearsal. I have many things I still want to do, I have places I want to go and with my dissability issues who know how long I will have to take advantage of all of these wonderful opportunities. I dont want to be sitting in that rocking chair on the porch some day in the future looking back on my life and regretting missed opportunities. So, I say with the most respect to my loved ones and friends, thank you for everything you do for me, thank you for being there and most of all thank you for understanding I can make the right descions for me.
Have a great week, spring is coming. Dont miss any opportunies coming your way and have lots of fun!
Wow, Gail this is beautiful, such a honest post. Your friends and family are well intentioned and meaning, but you just have to be clear when you say no.
ReplyDeleteThey do it beacuse they love and want to rescue you.
How sweet they are.
But when you say no,don't be nice Gail (I don't want to hurt anybodies feelings) be sure Gail. Say it as if your done and do not explain.
"Thank you so much for wanting to do that for me, you are such a sweetie, but I am doing this_________."
Or "I am taking a moment to decide, I will get back to you".
Good luck sweetie, if you just want to dump with out someone trying to save you (I am having a hard time saving myself ;-D), I will listen.
Thank you Gail, I hope the spring helps us both.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry. It has been so hard for me to accept help too. I am so grateful for it though.
But it is still so hard to accept.
When Howard got sick, we had to have help and it has taken me a while to get used to the idea of taking the help from people.
I still have moments of guilt and beat myself up for not being able to do this on my own. But I am trying to see that I am so so lucky to have people to help me.
I don't do anything like anyone else either and the people that I thought never got me are the ones that are helping me and encouraging me to keep going forward. I also am the one that placed the strings there.
I am learning something.
Hugs to you Gail.
Love you.
Hi Gail,
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful heartfelt post! I can see your a strong woman, don't let anyone take that from you. I admire that in you. I personally can relate to some of the things you've dealt with...the most important thing that I had to learn was how to say "no". I no longer do what others "think" I should do. Today, I do what "I" want to do and what I think is right for me. I don't allow others to dictate my life anymore. Stay strong and remember it is your choice to make the decisions that are the right ones for you. I'm so glad I stopped by to read your post, it is very encouraging!
Take care,
Debbie
Please try eft, it's a natural healing technique that you can do yourself. I get the migraine aura, do the eft, and the migraine never develops. It's hard to explain, but easy to do, maybe takes 5-10 minutes. I'm just a stay at home Mom who wanted to put something natural that I could use and teach for free.
ReplyDeleteMary Anne
Howdy
ReplyDeletethis was my first visit and I had to become a follower after reading your post .
Well said sister !
Blessings to you and yours for the weekend.
Happy Trails
Wow the grace and dignity of your heart are both inspiring and so delicately stated. Your beautiful. It was so nice to be with you yesterday at the blogger luncheon. I look forward to getting to know your heart.
ReplyDeleteGail
ReplyDeleteYou know I love you, and now I love you even more. I am happy for you being able to say what you want. There is so much in live I want to do, to see and I am going to do it my way also. Why do people think they know whats best for you. They don't live in your body or head..lol
Toodles girlfriend Kath'