Tuesday, April 30, 2013
As I said, things have changed. One day I was reading a book and for some reason felt compelled to turn the TV on. There was a special on PBS on how far hip replacement surgeries had come. So much more they could do now. I was born pre mature and was actually in a body cast for a year as an infant. I had hip dysplacia very bad and was lucky I could walk. The cast treatment worked for many years I was normal. I was never a graceful ballerina, but I did just fine. In my forties my right hip just broke down. I was in very bad pain always. I was literally walking on a broken bone, but technology had not developed enough to help me. But,,,, after watching this special I decided to visit my Dr, tell her what I saw and she was happy to refer me to a Surgeon. I had the surgery and it was a huge success. Because of the severity of my situation my recovery was longer, about a full year. Its been two years ago this month and I feel great. This was life changing for me.
Through a very good friend I was recommended for a temp job during tax season at a small CPA firm. I loved it so much. I would have never imagined that, but it was really more about the offices family atmosphere and a great boss. I was currently working as a call center for Target and HATED it. (Sorry Target, but I did) One day I walked into work and just told my supervisor I was putting in my two week notice. I was either taking a flying leap or a suicide jump, but I had to leave. I really had no idea that my temp job would become permanent, but it did and its the first time in my life I love going to work every day.
I guess I initially started writing this blog to find ways of staying positive while living with a disability. Deep down I almost feel guilty that I was so lucky to get "fixed". When I seen people in wheelchairs or struggling to walk I just hope so hard that someone someday can help them too. The bittersweet part is things have changed so much that there is very little time to create. I miss sewing and designing so much at times. I have a busy summer coming up. I am moving to a new part of town. The office I work at is buying a new building and we are moving the same month I am moving my apartment. But when the dust settles I will have a new studio set up and ready to create. I hope to find lots more inspiration to share here as well.
"Sometimes, instead of running from something scarey in your life, its easier to learn not to be scared of it. Let it stay, pull up a chair, share some eggnog..... Besides your bigger and you have wings". (unknown)
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Its been so long since I have posted here! I love the idea of this blog and I need to commit to some time to make it the blog I originally wanted. A place for ideas and inspiration for people living and coping with disabilities. I do have some very good news, I got a great new job. I work for Target in their corporate offices. Its been very challenging to learn everything that I have had to learn. So much more than I ever thought. But it is coming together now very well. I am very happy and the sense of relief in my life is nothing short of a miracle. The timing was amazing. Everything fell into place beautifully. I started my training the Monday after I came back from my vacation from Cape Cod. As soon as I started I saw on the news that the government could not come to an agreement on funding the emergency unemployment benefits, so I would have not had that anymore after the 20th of june. I cant even stand to think about where I would be now had I not got this job. Target is a wonderful company to work for.
Now, I am learning to make friends with my cane! I just hate using it and rarely did, but its not an option now. I work in a large building. I have to use it with my left hand, I am left handed and now I feel like I am always one hand short. I feel like about 50 years older than I am and its just frustrating.
I was on google looking for some decorative canes. I think I need a pink one. But then again does that draw more attention to myself??? I guess if you have to use one, it might as well be with some attitude! lol I found nothing really. Some very pretty, elegant ones for men. I may have to give this some thought. Maybe come up with my own designs. Might be something new to design. :) Like I need another project. But I will keep you all posted. Have a very pretty day and I will be back after searching for new and inspirational ideas to share.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
I really post on this blog to far apart. I have just been spending some time reading all of your sweet comments this evening. I cant thank you enough for letting me talk out loud and figure this life out. :) I have met some amazing friends by blogging. I have even been lucky enough to meet so many in person.
I am not sure what happened over the last couple months, but my universe really tilted! lol I actually had become paralyzed as to what to even do anymore. It seemed to be coming from all directions. Sometimes time is our friend, sometimes not so much! But time has passed, my stars are aligning once again and it feels great! lol I believe its what you take away from these times that is important. To really examine situations and for Gods sake be honest with yourself. If you can change something, do it. If things have been out of your control, do your best to let it go. Hopefully it will make you appreciate the joy and happiness that is sure to be right around the corner.
There is so much emphasis on staying positive and believing. If you do this everything you want will happen. These really are very important, but in the dark hours it can add to your fear because you feel like even more of a failure for not being able to stay positive or that you didnt believe the right way. I ask myself, do I really not believe in my dreams enough. Sometimes its just not going to be possible to be 100 percent positive. We have fear or tragic losses we have to deal with. But hopefully time will be on your side. Dark times will hopefully pass quickly and we can get back to our wonderful life! Its really been a beautiful spring this year, and its really sparked my creativity and I am excited to get back to my art and my business.
I really appreciate all of your comments and advice. Have a pretty day! (()) gail
Saturday, February 27, 2010
It is so easy to fall back into bad habits. Isnt It? One thing I have struggled with for the most part of my life is feeling guilty about being who I am. Or doing what I want. I also know that I am not by any means the only woman out there with this issue. It's always more acceptable to put children, spouses,parents and jobs first. Sometimes you really have to. But not all of the time. This is one of the great advantages of growing older. Things change and you appear to become wiser. ( It appears to myself I am anyway. lol) At the very least you can prioritize better and it least recognize when you are not being true to yourself. But I sure can fall back into old beliefs and habits very quickly. I am speaking for myself here, I am single, both of my daughters have families of their own now and sadly my parents have passed on. So the way I see it, now is my time. I have worked very hard my whole life, raised kids, took care of ailing parents, been divorced, health issues, job lay offs etc. This list is alot longer, but I dont have to tell you how it is. You also know how it is. But the ironic thing here is the tables have turned. Other well meaning people now think they know whats best for me and I find myself feeling very guilty and doing things I dont want to do, all because someone else thinks its for the best. Somehow they all know whats better for me and my current circumstances. They appear to think I dont have a thread of common sense or the fact that I handled all of the above mentioned circumstances in my life without any help from them. OK, I am beginning to rant here. lol Thats not the purpose of this post. I am thinking outloud and I am making a declaration, here in writing to be OK with my descisions. I am smart and intelligent and want to make the most of my life experiences. I hope that you are too. Its a cliche, but so true, this is not a dress rehearsal. I have many things I still want to do, I have places I want to go and with my dissability issues who know how long I will have to take advantage of all of these wonderful opportunities. I dont want to be sitting in that rocking chair on the porch some day in the future looking back on my life and regretting missed opportunities. So, I say with the most respect to my loved ones and friends, thank you for everything you do for me, thank you for being there and most of all thank you for understanding I can make the right descions for me.
Have a great week, spring is coming. Dont miss any opportunies coming your way and have lots of fun!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
While I know much of the country is very cold, and even buried in snow, this is the time in the desert Southwest to finally enjoy some beautiful weather. As I am sitting here at 8am its 55 degrees outside and will be 70-ish later. The birds are singing in the trees outside my window and seem quite happy. The cats are sitting in the window watching them. I think they would be happier if they could get out at the birds, but you cant make everyone happy I guess! I love this time of year. Its very short too. But there is nothing better to clear your head or for your state of mind and even good health than to sit out in the fresh air in the quiet and just breath and relax. So, this is a short post to wish you a beautiful saturday, fresh air and good health...... I am on my way outsit to sit for abit.
Have a pretty day,,,,gail
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Wow, I really have been neglecting this blog. I have thought about posting several times. There are many reasons but to be honest its just been a hard couple months and I really dont want this to be a place for negativity or complaining:) I am really, really looking forward to a new year and have high hopes that it will be a great year.
One thing I have learned and is something that I plan to be a big part of my new year is paying it forward. I have been so blessed and have learned what true friendship is. This is not a judgement, just an observation, but I have had some wonderful things done for me. I really have learned what friendship truly is. People that have came forward and been there for me from people I didnt expect. Others I have know for years and would have thought would always be around have bailed. I think they just dont know what to do or say. But I promise to never forget and pay their kindness forward in their honor. In these times sometimes just a phone call to say Hi and that you are thinking of someone is all it takes to make someones day. I hope to remember that each and every day of this new year.
I have had one situation that is really the hardest thing I am dealing with. With still being unemployed it gets harder and harder to pay the rent. I always have the option of putting my things in storage and staying with friends or family, but that would be me and not include my cats. Well meaning people dont think I have any choice but to get rid of them and do this. They seem to think it should be so easy. So I have really been giving this so much thought. This is something I cant do. You always here how its great to own pets because they love you unconditionally and they are always there for you. The way I see it, thats half the story. The human ego side. lol The other half is YOU get to give them uncoditional love. You can express all kinds of feelings that humans need to. You can tell you cat anything, express love, you can sing Christmas carols to your dog without anyone judging you or rejecting you. My cats have been here for me longer and more loyal than most humans I know. They rely on me and I rely on them, so no matter what it takes, I will solve my problem. I think thats why so many of the people have talked to have such a hard time when they loose their animal friends. Its hard to loose such a loyal friend who knows you better than anyone else.
So with all of that said I am looking forward to 2010. I have a good feeling about this new year. I have so many fresh ideas and ready to get to work. I hope each of you have a very Happy, Healthy and Successful New Year and may peace fill your hearts and homes. (()) gail
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I hesitate to write a post today. My intention has been to keep this a very positive and place for ideas and inspiration. But I have decided I think my subject today is important to me. Actually the subject of my furry friends is one of the most important things in my life. For those of you who dont know me well, I am a huge animal lover. I love ALL animals. I have worked at a wild life park, I own a pet sitting business and have owned about every domesticated pet. But cats speak to me and my heart. The strays will find my door and walk right in. Cats who supposedly hate people love me. I have one cat Lucy that I believe must have been an artist in another life. (she is also my office manager) But when I am working she is right there watching every single move I make. Its like she is taking the stitch with me or stroking the paint brush with her eyes. She loves watching me bead. So I have taken to asking for her opinion. lol But my heart is so sad this week for my little Tigger. She is almost 17. She stopped eating and she seems to be having some horrible bad dental issues. The last cat I had dental work done for was $1.200.00. And for the reason she is 17 and I am unemployed I cant do this and its the worst thing I have been through in a long time. She was eating baby food and kitten formula for awhile, but since friday I cant get her to eat or drink anything. I have given her some drops of water with a syringe, but it makes her very agitated. But I have to do that much at least. So we have just been sitting together and waiting. Tomorrow morning I will have to take her to the vet and say good bye. I have had her all her life and actually lived with her longer than my parents, my ex husband and even my two daughters. And havent gotten anywhere near the grief the others have caused me. lol :(
So,,, I have come to realize something else. Try as you may to be positive and work for the best in your life. Sometimes inspiration is sad. You have to grieve and know its ok for a few days to just go on auto pilot. Because when you come out on the other end the wonderful memories will be so worth it. Animals are so much support and happiness. Especially for people who have struggles that make their day a little harder to get through.